Mentoring has been an effective practice for transferring knowledge and skills since the beginning of time and formalized mentoring has become more fashionable over the past decade. Life, professional and spiritual mentoring are just a couple of examples of mentoring. Many people are looking to those who have demonstrated the kinds of skills, knowledge and character to perform well – to be successful, to overcome obstacles and to grow as a person.
“Mentoring is a brain to pick, an ear to listen, and a push in the right direction.” John C. Crosby
A mentor is someone who facilities growth and development – professionally, spiritually or personally – in another person by the sharing of experiences, insights and skills that have been gained through the years of living and learning. A mentor is a model or an example for you to imitate in effort to see certain desirable aspects of the mentors life reproduced in your own life. Through examining and practicing similar disciplines, employing the insight from experience of the mentor, you are able to assimilate these skills, ideas and techniques faster than if they had to cultivate them themselves.
Depending on the skills, knowledge and experience being shared determines the posture the mentor will take. Mentors, depending on their own gifts and skills may choose to employ a combination of “hats” to help you achieve your goals. Mentors are multifaceted in their role and techniques that are best suited to impart various skills and information. They will often take on these postures:
- Teacher: A teacher imparts information and skills to perform a task successfully.
- Counselor: A trusted adviser who you feels safe and comfortable to be open with your life.
- Motivator: A mentor may at times have to inspire you to action, to take a calculated risk, leave your comfort zone and be a source of accountability.
- Coach: To help you to cultivate the needed skills and disciplines to achieve your goals. To provide meaningful positive and constructive feedback.
- Cheerleader: To provide positive, empowering encouragement. To celebrate victories and milestones as well as be a source of encouragement through the more difficult times.
- Adviser: To help you set realistic goals – short-term, mid-range and long term goals. Provide objective feedback regarding how realistic the goals are. To evaluate the needed resources, skills and relationships to achieve these goals, and where and how these can be acquired and developed.
- Connector: Utilizing Mentors own network to connect you to a wider circle of resources and opportunities.
- Proficient: Good mentors are obviously proficient and successful in the areas you are interested in. Obviously, if you are interested in developing your business you wouldn’t seek out a marriage mentor.
Characteristics of Healthy Mentoring
- Mentors are generally secure in themselves and this is demonstrated by a sense of genuine humility and a desire to serve. A person who is seeking to get a sense of purpose and self-worth from your mentoring relationship is probably not a good fit regardless of their resume’.
- Healthy mentors are respectful and will not use means nor tactics that will manipulate, shame or threaten you towards a certain course of action. They need to accept that there will be differences of opinion, values and interests and these differences need to be respected.
- Healthy mentors are safe people who understand maintaining confidentiality and boundaries. Healthy mentors can cultivate a relationship of security where you can explore not only your strengths but also your weaknesses, your successes and your failures and they can help address the flaws and weaknesses either to strengthen those areas or to accept them.
- Healthy Mentoring must unite life not divide it and must seek ways to help you achieve your goals while not sacrificing other important aspects of your life – like your family and your spouse and your physical / emotional health. Healthy Balance is key.
- Healthy mentoring needs to equip you to be inter-dependent not exclusively dependent upon your mentor. A healthy mentor is a success to the degree that you outgrow your need for them.
Mentoring can be a powerful way to develop in a variety of ways. It can be especially powerful and effective when lives are shared – expertise, experience, wisdom, warnings and the cultivation of healthy habits and mindsets.
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IamSignificant.ca offers spiritual mentoring is a couple of different styles. Life Coaching from a Christian
perspective will help you identify your goals and help map out and implement a strategy to achieve these goals in ways that are consistent with healthy faith. We will focus on the whole person and work towards cultivating healthy success with quality, well formed character, rooted in Christian faith that balances nicely with other priorities in your life.
Likewise, we also offer Spiritual direction for evangelical, charismatic and catholic Christians. Spiritual direction is an ancient practice which seeks to cultivate a deeper personal faith in the directee. It is a gentle, non-judgmental but deliberate companionship along your faith journey to help you discover a deeper, more vibrant, integrated faith which makes sense in the real world. Spiritual direction is ideal for seasons of transition – a change of jobs, retirement, unemployment. To process hurts and disappointments and evaluate opportunities. It is also helpful during seasons of stress, disappointment or to explore the bigger questions in life.
IamSignificant.ca specializes in caring for pastors and leaders – a combination of spiritual mentoring, life-coaching and spiritual direction to care for the unique needs of pastors, clergy and leaders. Confidential, compassionate, refreshing and insightful, IamSignificant.ca provides Christ-centred care for pastors and their spouses. Please contact us directly.
